This is still pissing me off.
Some guy asked me if I was for sale yesterday.
Not funny buddy… just because I’m a girl, and because I look the part doesn’t make me your pet, you don’t get to buy me, I’m not for sale, or trade.
Then he starts dropping hints, and trying to convince me I would love to have him as my sugar daddy I couldn’t find a better “handler”, he could get me into modeling, or tv. (he used that word, handler.. like, seriously?)…. ugh.
This happens on a pretty regular, men trying to hit on me by offering me gifts and money for favors… I don’t know why, I’m quite average, generic. It can’t be my attitude either, I’m a bit of a crank ass. Now I’m going to be a crank ass for the next few days, nothing like being made to feel like a god damn piece of meat.
This really brightened up my day, for like real, dude.
The most awesomest random thing just happened. Me and the BF were outside chatting before he left to go back to work, and this little kid riding a bike, and wearing, a little cowboy hat singing his lungs out drove by. He was probably 5 or 6 y/o, driving ahead of his mom pushing his baby bro or sis in a carriage. It was just the coolest thing, cuz he didn’t give a flying fuck who was watching him, he just kept biking and singing. See, kids can teach us so much about life, we should try to be more like this kid…who is just happy, just cuz, and he’s doing whatever he wants, he don’t care what anyone thinks, he’s just gonna keep on, keepin’ on…. It’s like Joe Dirt says, you can’t have no in your heart…. Man, thanks little kid, you are awesome!
It’s the little things in life.
There’s a cherry tree I walk by every day to go to work. It’s in bloom right now, and the blossoms smell amazing. It brightens up my day every time I walk by and smell it. I can’t help but smile every time.
Any advice?
So, I have these ridiculous dreams, where I will have a conversation with someone, or a very specific thing will happen in my dream, then I will actually have the conversation, or whatever happen.
Well…the last couple of times it happened, I wasn’t there for the conversation/situation to actually happen, but when told about it, I was able to finish it as though I had been there…
I remember the first time it happened, I wasn’t actually sleeping that time, more like a lucid dream. I was a very young child, and I was at the end of the hall at my grans house. I looked down the hall and in the kitchen in my high chair (I was like almost 2, since it was just before my younger sis was born) was some strange kid I didn’t know in my chair. I asked my mom who it was and she told me it was my sister. I remember this vividly, still today. I know I asked my mom in real life who the kid was who sat in my chair, cuz she didn’t answer me, and she likes to tell me this story, and how I’m a little freak(In a loving way, it’s a term of endearment) She was always freaked out by it, since there wasn’t any kid in the chair, but she was pregnant at the time ( couldn’t of known since I asked while she was still early on she says) Another time, I thought I asked her for scrambled eggs for breakfast,(I was still lying in bed, trying to shake the sleepies off before school, I was maybe 8 or 9 when this happened) and as I came in the kitchen, I said thanks for making them like I asked, she looked at me dumbfounded and stated she had never walked by my bedroom. I said yes you did because I asked you to make me scrambled eggs and answered me back (I was so sure) It happens a lot with my mother, but it happens a lot with just random people too, sometimes, people I haven’t seen or spoken with in a while.
The only thing that sucks about this, is, sometimes, I think my dream conversations are real, so I end up asking the other person why are talking about this again, or didn’t we just do this?
Also what is this I’m doing? Dream walking? Or, is it a psychic thing? Or, or, or…what?
Does this happen to anyone else?
Have you ever tried to…access this? Any time I do, by meditation, or trying to lucid dream, I fall asleep, like deep sleep, no dreams whatsoever, it just seems to happen with me, I can’t make it happen.
Why do I do this to myself?
I picked up a shift on my day off… Well it’s not so bad I suppose, since my next day off is Monday, but, the part that makes me moan the most is I worked this AM till 3. So I didn’t get the amount of sleep that I like, A LOT! I didn’t get to bed until 6ish this am, so, now I’m trying to wake up, and not be a Dragon Lady. Or I should say…The Dragon Lady, that’s who I am apparently first thing in the morning. I’m quite the bitch, and will chew your face off for looking at me. The BF has gotten one picture of the Dragon Lady, he snapped it as she was exiting the bedroom and headed to the kitchen for coffee. He had to run for his life that morning… Once I’ve had a coffee and smoke, she tends to retreat, and lets me be…The BF has also said the change is a little freaky, it’s like an actual personality change. However, I highly doubt it’s anything like multiple personalities, or anything like that. I’m just naturally a bitch, and I have a really hard time hiding that in the mornings, I guess you can say it’s when you see the true me.
What is this feeling?
Restlessness, it’s the ADD kicking in again, I know it. Oh, but ADD isn’t a real thing you say? Ummm okay, sure, what ever…
Anyway, on days like this, I cannot focus on anything. Not even one task, for example, I’ve been meaning to get up and make breakfast/lunch, but I keep distracting myself by surfing the net. This sucks because A) It’s putting behind schedule, and I’ll be either rushing to eat, or not eating at all…oh so healthy…and B) I know what I’m doing, I know the consequences, yet, I keep, procrastinating….
I’ve tried going to see a doctor about getting something to help me focus, but I actually need a psych diagnoses prior…I haven’t been cuz I’ve been procrastinating…omg…I’m horrible! The doctor also keeps trying to tell me I have BPD, another says it’s BP, this one says it’s PTSD….maybe OCD…Where is this going?….Fawk, I dunno, I just kinda went off on a tangent there… Have you seen my coffee… *wanders off mumbling looking for the cigs and coffee I just had three seconds ago*
Should I laugh, or cry?
So, Peako, our little dog who is intimidated by my cats, has gotten into the garbage and ate the sauce I chucked last night cuz it was sitting in the fridge long enough to smell funky…. Peako don’t care, Peako ate it all…. Now the little fuckers face is neon orange. He’s sitting here looking at me trying to be all inconspicuous…BUT THE EVIDENCE IS ALL OVER YOUR FACE FUCKER! Now, I have to give him a bath, so he doesn’t get sauce over everything.
He’s a little dog, less than 9lbs, my nephew was heavier than him even before he was born {J was a little over 10lbs when he was born, I nicknamed him the Pumpkin King cuz his head was massive! my poor little barely 5 feet nothing sister had to have a C section….after HOURS OF LABOR, I was lucky, I had 12 hrs labor total, this included the holy shit 5 min apart contraction get to the hospital now labor, and then 2 hrs of jesus christ push this thing out of meeeeee labor…but my birthing experience is a story for another day} so if I don’t wash him now, he’ll be jumping on shit, and making messes..or rubbing his face on me and covering me in icky past it’s prime sauce.
Ah well, break out the no tears kiddie shampoo and give the little dirt ball a bath.
(Peako is also a Maltese/Pappillion mix, so when he’s not being a dirt bag, he actually looks pretty regal and really cute…I’ll post a link to some pics in a bit)
This, actually, happens quite a bit…
So the BF and I went out for dinner, as I was ordering he noticed some lady staring at me….intensely. I’m going to say it was the make up, I tend to be a little creative when it comes to eyes, and people have told me they remind them of birds wings, or butterfly wings. Yes, I take that as a huge compliment… Most of the compliments I have received have been because of my eyes, and the way I’ve done my make up.
Any way todays look was burgundy cream shadow used as eyeliner on the outer lash lines (top and bottom) then the tops outlined with black gel liner, then the black liner was extended into a sort of Elizabeth Taylor’s Cleopatra inspired wings, white pencil on the lower water line, and loads of black mascara.
When the BF pointed this out, I explained that it was because people can’t process my fabulously gorgeous self, and they can’t help themselves, they have to stare.
I don’t blame them, it’s not often a Goddess walks among mortals.
Random convo
BF: what time is it?
Me: half past my ass
BF: Half past a monkey’s ass?
Me: no, my ass.
BF: A monkey?
Me: no…gah!, forget it.